I am sitting here not exactly sure how I am going to write this post, there is a lot of emotion behind it, a lot of fear and anxiety. I lost my job today, because I was not truthful about my education, I told them I graduated high school, but I didnt, and now I must pay the natural consequence for my actions. This has followed me my whole life, I worked at one of the best children’s hospital in the country, doing what I do best, helping other’s find their way through all the obstacles that come their way. They belived in my abilities, they believed in my worth and value, regardless of the fact I didn’t graduate. I am not gonna lie, I was not honest with them either, but I came clean one day, and they stuck by me and let me stay on. I am grateful to them, for believing in me.
I repeated first grade, I repeated third grade, before they realized I had a learning disability. Then the foster homes and the life of misfortunes played out as the years went by, in seventh grade the school asked my foster mother to take me out of school, “to pursue other avenues of education”. Come to find out later in my adult years, they were in the middle of budget cuts and I was not the only one they did this two, a class action loss suit against the city went on, but I did not get involved. I have a seventh grade level of education, but yet I have been blessed with working with thousands of kids, during their time of misfortunes. And now, everything I have worked for, proving my self worth to the community, it’s all gone. Or is it?
I know that my lack of education does not define me, its a sort of by product of my childhood. Whats frustrating is finding the strength to concur this obstacle that has followed me all these years. I know, deep down, that I have survived many things, and I know that the strength has to come from within my heart and soul. All my life, I have felt that there is a bigger plan, a bigger picture, knowing this, I believe that I am at a new chapter in my life. Where will this story go, I don’t know, I know what I would like to do, I want to change the world in someway, I want to give others the piece of mind to know that everything will be ok, that you life’s trials and tribulations do note define who you are, they make you better at who you are.
Am I scared right now, yes I am, I am scared of the unknown, I am scared of failing my children, yet they give me the pathway to greatness, they push me to be the best that I can be. I am hopeful that I don’t let them down. I don’t want to let myself down, I am in a place now, a cross road if you will, to further loosen the grip that my past has on my life. Some how I will achieve my goal of getting a diploma, because Society says I’m not worth it if I don’t have one, yet I know without a shadow of doubt, it wasn’t a piece of paper that got me where I am today, or the journeys that I have traveled, it was me, my willingness to beat the odds and give back.
To all that might have doubted me, I have proven over and over again, that I am a survivor, that it doesn’t matter how many trials you put me through, I will come out on top, I will overcome these obstacles that stand in my way. Someday, you will remember my name, because my goal in life, is to leave a legacy that my children can be proud of and follow.